it starts with an "o" and ends with a "bsession"

so, i know that i'm not the coolest kid on the block. our family is the "volvo weirdos." and i am "that tall girl." i couldn't dream of coming anywhere near my sister kay's reign as the queen of sacred heart, even though i believe this title was self-proclaimed.

however, i can earnestly and willingly finish the manthey dynasty of yearbook editors. and, oh what a pleasure it is, because not only am i an editor--but an editor-in-chief! those lazy slackers who previously i called sisters are nothing compared to the living prodigy that i have become! if kay and meg were james potter, i am harry potter! both more adept at sports (though i dominate the basketball court instead of the quidditch pitch) and more wonderful than any yearbook moderator could have hoped for! let us all just revel in my accomplishments.

on another note, i am still a freak. whenever i try and make human contact, i am fiercely and forcefully thwarted. at the bead shop i am "that freak girl who likes to talk to the beads." sometimes people will approach me, but they are sadly denied when a sales associate swoops in and says, "i'll take it from here, sarah." oh, what a sad life i lead. but they do not know, i have been planting the seeds of triumph. slowly i will contaminate every tray in the store. with what you ask?!?! why the wrong beads! some unsuspecting mother will bring her young to the store and as she is casually perusing the beads she will find--GASP--a pink bead among the blue. when she turns to a different tray in hopes of finding a perfectly sorted selection of beads, she will be denied again--pewter with the sterling silver! however, i have planned well and soon everyone will unknowingly but a slightly different bead than they thought and soon enough mass chaos will erupt.

for the complete text of "How the Bead Sorter Went Bad," email beadsrtr1@hotmail.com.