Apr 24, 2006

skiing for beginners

Hi, my name is Sarah. And I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I've never skied before. And, rather than take skiing lessons like an normal visitor to the Copper Mountain Ski Resort, Meg and I decided that she would simply teach me how to ski. (Meg has only skied 3 times before.)

1. Do not, I repeat do not, wear low rise anything to ski. It will end up badly. Either you will flash the world the whole time you are skiing or you will have snow forcibly inserted into your adorable low rise pants when you inevitably fall. And snow being shoved into your pants is not fun. sometimes it even leaves painful scars that keep the constant stinging pain company on your rear end.

2. learn how to stop and turn properly before advancing onto actual mountain runs. if you exit the bunny slope stage without fully mastering the stopping and turning techniques, you will end up doing one of the following:
a) running into things such as trees, large piles of snow, or people (which,
surprisingly is the most embarrasing and often hardest to escape from)
b) flying down the mountain at top-notch speeds with shaking legs.
c) wipe out. completely. this usually accompanies options a and b but is
also a choice on its own. as a general rule, the faster you are going,
the more dramatically you wipe out.

3. make sure that you know how to properly mount and dismount the ski lift because it is quite embarrasing when the operators of the ski lift must stop the ski lift to wait for you to shimmy over to the correct spot or when you are simply pushed off the lift and are forced to do an impressive squatting ski move until you reach your ski companion onto which you latch yourself onto thus making both of you topple over.

well, that's all the advice that i have for now. happy skiing!

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