well, aren't you special

Dear other team in playoffs,

I'll give you a quick glimpse into the life of the Sacred Heart basketball team which I have been a part of since 6th grade and now help lead in all my shimmering senior glory. In the past three years we have won less than 10 games. This year we have won quite a few games. Perhaps even more than can be counted on one hand.

We generally are pretty lazy and kind of always rebel against our coach. However, we really do enjoy playing bball. We might seem like we suck but we're really just race-challenged. We all secretly want to be black, especially me.

So, in the interest of not crushing our dreams, please let us have a chance tomorrow when we play you.

Sincerely,
Jemima Manthey